Chapter 31 - Protagonist: Hold me then sit on it.'

The Reader and Protagonist Definitely Have to Be in True Love

Chapter 31.1 – Protagonist: Hold me then sit on it.’

Xiu handed over the two passes to the demon gatekeeper. The demon examined the passes to confirm they were genuine before he looked at Xiu, Du Ze, and the two demon sisters: “Only two people can go through.”

Pointing to himself and Du Ze, Xiu said: “Just me and him.”

“Chirp!” The small Phoenix on top of Du Ze’s head tweeted, calling attention to its existence.

The gatekeeper stared at the trembling yellow hairball: “What is this? Chicken?”

If I say this is a Phoenix, would you believe it?

Du Ze’s face expressed melancholy. Ever since he woke up, he found that the little chick had made itself home on his head. Although the small Phoenix was still shivering, it seems to have become accustomed to it and just trembled while gathering Du Ze’s black hair in its claws. After finding a satisfactory spot, it settled down there. Whenever Du Ze tried to get it down from his head, the little Phoenix would bite Du Ze’s hair and stubbornly refuse to let go.

The demon guarding the gate glanced disinterestedly at the little Phoenix, put the passes away, then rang a bell. The heavy gates of the fortress slowly rose and a black swamp appeared in front of them. A thin mist hung over the swamp. The smell of decay was strong. This is the Death Swamp, the battlefield of the angels and demons and later, the gnomes and undead. Those who want to enter the Lost Land must first cross the Death Swamp.

Xiu did not hesitate and immediately pulled Du Ze with him to enter the gate. Du Ze looked back at the demon sisters. Though she had known that they would be parting today, Violet was still crying. Alice, who was gently holding her sister, noticed Du Ze’s eyes on them. The red-clothed girl smiled and said: “Bon Voyage, Lord Xiu, Mr. Du Ze. We will be your most faithful servants at any time.”

The heavy door of the fortress closed again, and the girl’s smile and voice were cut off.

After walking into the Death Swamp, the rotten smell irritated their noses. The baby Phoenix sneezed a dozen times. Fire spurted from its mouth and burnt some of Du Ze’s hair.

Du Ze: …

Xiu stopped and softly chanted a few syllables. A gentle breeze with a fresh scent enveloped the group. This was a very useful wind-type magic spell that can, at the very least, save some stupid person’s hair.

“Tread carefully.”

Wherever they walked, their feet sank down into the black sludge of the swamp. Xiu and Du Ze walked for a while before suddenly, a black shadow half-hidden by the fog appeared in front of them. They stopped walking but the shadowy figure still seemed to notice them. The dark figure was about three meters high. When it turned around, there were two blue lights in the mist.

Xiu stood in front of Du Ze, chanting a few words. A gust of wind tore the thin mist apart, revealing the shadowy figure. It was a tall robot with long, big hands carrying chains. A star was engraved on its left breast. Its body was a metallic iron-gray, and its eyes were simply blue lights.

Du Ze instantly felt as though he had been transported into a sci-fi world though he knew that the robot was a mechanical puppet, one of the gnome race’s best-known creations in “Mixed Blood.”

The blue light set in the eyes of the mechanical puppet scanned Xiu and Du Ze. It spoke in an electronic-synthesized tone: “Beep – lifeforms discovered, analyzing race. Beep – non-gnome, analyzing faction. Beep – unrecognized faction, analysis complete. Beep – activate the enemy program X, expel the lifeforms.”

The blue lights in the mechanical puppet’s eye flashed. It faced Xiu and Du Ze and its voice suddenly became louder.

“Warning! Please leave here within 10 seconds or you will be attacked. 10, 9, 8 …”

Seeing that Xiu had no intention of leaving, Du Ze tried to pull Xiu away. “Do you want to play?”

Xiu seemed somewhat startled. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s going to …” he said. Then, based on Xiu’s reaction, Du Ze had a bad feeling and guessed: “You don’t understand what it said?”

Du Ze thought that the mechanical puppet was speaking the language of the Chaos Continent, but now that he thought about it he remembered that in “Mixed Blood,” the mechanical puppets use the gnome language. For Du Ze, all of the languages of this world are unfamiliar, but there is a magic that translates everything for him. As if he had a foreigner in front of him speaking an unknown language and a translation machine, he can understand what is said but he can’t tell whether that person is speaking French or Russian.

Xiu nodded and asked, “What did it say?”

Du Ze did not have time to answer before the mechanical puppet’s countdown came to an end.

“…… 3, 2, 1. Activating attack mode.”

The blue lights of the mechanical puppet’s eyes turned red. “Mark target, access target information. Beep – start eviction.”

The mechanical puppet pulled out its chain and rushed over to them with a heavy pace.

Xiu pulled out his sword, moved forward, and took the initiative to “greet” it. The mechanical puppet flung its chain towards Xiu. Xiu’s colorless battle aura covered the sword which swiftly struck the chain.

An immense destructive power poured out of Xiu’s sword and into the chain, which broke.. The mechanical puppet fell to the ground.

However, even if the chain was broken, Xiu had to pull back. He looked at the sword in his hand. It was a sword bought in Agares City. Even though he had used his battle magic, the cracks still appeared on the sword blade which showed how powerful the mechanical puppet was.

The mechanical puppet did not care about the chain that broke. It simply pulled out several chains from its body and launched another attack.

This time Xiu did not strike at the chain. He chanted a few words. A breeze ruffled his blonde hair. Xiu bent his leg then leaped higher than a person could normally leap – it seemed that the wind was holding him aloft. The sun shone from above the blond youth and projected his shadow onto the mechanical puppet underneath him. As he fell down from his jump, Xiu held his sword with both hands, activated his battle aura, and mercilessly stabbed the head of the mechanical puppet.

The sword was finally overmatched and broke but not before destroying the mechanical puppet’s head. The headless mechanical puppet paused for a moment then stretched out a big hand to try to catch Xiu who was standing on its shoulder.

Xiu narrowly avoided capture and jumped down.

The headless mechanical puppet started waving its hands and moving in circles, trying to find its enemy.

To make the mechanical puppet stop moving completely, one must destroy its power center, but there was no need to destroy it at this time. Du Ze and Xiu simply walked past the headless mechanical puppet.

As they walked, Xiu continued their conversation: “What did the mechanical puppet say?”

Du Ze repeated the mechanical puppet’s words to Xiu. After listening to Du Ze’s explanation, Xiu seemed to be thinking deeply. They were able to spot several mechanical puppets from far away and were able to avoid them but as they traveled farther into the Death Swamp, the number of mechanical puppets increased. From the initial solo mechanical puppets, they had increased to groups of 2, 3, 4, and 5. It became harder and harder to avoid the mechanical puppets and sometimes they had to circle a very long way around them.

Chapter 31.2 – Protagonist: Hold me then sit on it.

Suddenly, they heard the sounds of fighting. The wind of the battle blew away the fog and they saw a giant mechanical puppet, twice as big as the ones they had seen. It had two stars on its chest. The two-star mechanical puppet was fighting with a group of demons who seemed to be on the losing side. The demons were panicked and all of them had varying degrees of injuries.

Xiu thought about the situation for a moment then instructed Du Ze to wait for him. He took out Qian Bian,1 transformed it into the Burning Desire Demonic Sword, and joined the battle. With Xiu’s help, the group of demons finally defeated the huge mechanical puppet.

One of the demons who had less serious injuries thanked Xiu: “We are guards from Agares City, thank you for your help.”

“What’s going on?” Xiu glanced at the fallen mechanical puppet: “Why are there so many mechanical puppets?”

“We are investigating the cause.” The demon frowned: “We don’t know what happened at the Lost Land. These metal lumps all got activated. When they see people, they attack. You have seen those one star mechanical puppets?”

The demon pointed at the chest of the mechanical puppet. “This is a two-star mechanical puppet. Their strength is 10 times that of the one-star mechanical puppets, around the same level as a Grand Sword Master.”

He pointed in the direction Xiu and Du Ze were going and said: “If you keep moving forward you will encounter lots of two-star mechanical puppets all crammed together in that area.”

Xiu was silent after listening to these words. Two demons decided to leave because of their injuries. After they had left, Du Ze walked to Xiu’s side and heard the blond youth whisper: “I have an idea … Let’s try it.”

Five days later.

In the misty Death Swamp, a mechanical puppet that was wandering aimlessly, suddenly saw two figures.

“Beep – lifeforms discovered, analyzing race. Beep – gnome discovered!” The blue lights in the mechanical puppet’s eyes blinked. “Identifying individual. Beep – identity not found in system, conducting complete analysis. Beep – activate protection program A, escorting the individual ‘home’.”

The giant mechanical puppet knelt in front of the small figure and stretched out a hand, quietly waiting for its master’s response. The flaxen-haired dwarf grabbed the black-haired youth then raised his head to reveal a pair of amber eyes. “What did it say?”

Du Ze gazed at Xiu and the mechanical puppet. The tiny gnome stood next to the two-meter-high mechanical puppet. The contrast gave one an indescribable shock. He repeated the mechanical puppet’s words. Xiu listened then said to Du Ze: “Hold me then sit on it.”

Suddenly, a hole opened up in Du Ze’s brain: these words from a Moe Lord with a tender and soft appearance were like those of a child asking for a hug.

Some fool then bent down from the waist and clumsily picked up Xiu, holding the gnome to his bosom.

Xiu’s put his chin on Du Ze’s shoulder and placed his arms around Du Ze’s neck. His eyes were attracted by an earlobe. It seemed very soft …

The mechanical puppet stood up, holding Du Ze. At the moment when he was jolted by the movement, Du Ze felt his ears were mercilessly rubbed. The mechanical puppet began to run and Du Ze had to grab its shoulder to avoid falling. That place was rubbed until it was hot, and he could not help but want to find some ice to cool it off.

Along the way they saw all kinds of mechanical puppets. When they saw Xiu all of them stopped and solemnly watched Xiu’s group until they ran out of sight. The closer they got to the Lost Land, the more mechanical puppets appeared. The number of stars on their chests also increased from one to three. Later on these three star mechanical puppets were everywhere. Du Ze was somewhat frightened at the sight. If Xiu hadn’t changed into his gnome form, this place would be a dead end for them.

The outer boundary of the Lost Land was getting closer. It was a milky-white membrane.2 To enter the Lost Land, one has to go through it. The mechanical puppet did not pause as it passed through the boundary. Du Ze looked at the familiar scenery. The ice crystal ground, the skies that appear above and below, and the distant pillar of light made him feel like he was in a dream or an illusion.

When the mechanical puppet entered the Lost Land, it took out a robot flying saucer and activated it. The little UFO buzzed and flew in front of them, leading the way. The mechanical puppet closely followed the flying saucer.

Du Ze had described the Lost Land as tsundere, but actually walking around the pillar of light is just one way to get to the center; it’s not the only way. The gnomes found 10 paths and the fastest can allow a person to reach the pillar in one day.

The mechanical puppet holding Du Ze and Xiu entered the pillar of light. In front of them was the activated metal pyramid. The little flying saucer flew over the mechanical puppet and a red light emerged from it, enveloping the group. Du Ze felt a sense of weightlessness in his body as they were guided by small UFO into the space eye.

As they went closer to the space eye, the red light from the flying saucer became brighter and brighter until it dazzled them. When they entered the space eye, Du Ze didn’t know if they were still protected by the red light. He felt dizzy but he did not lose consciousness. After the red light faded away, Du Ze looked outside and gawked at what he saw.

He seemed to be back in the 21st century.

It was a city made of steel. Gray was the main color of the city. The streets were littered with large and small types of machinery. Some of the machines seemed to have lost their energy and quietly sat in a corner while some were still active. The whole city appears to be built underground or in a cave. There were balls of light of varying sizes above them, lighting up the city so that it was as bright as daylight.

He knew the name of this city. Du Ze’s heart began to feel agitated, as if he had heard the plot of “Mixed Blood” whispering to him.

Welcome to … the Gnome Ruins.

******

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[Explore Gnome Ruins: Unranked Task.] Go to gnome ruins to find materials. Task, grade, and pay will depend on materials’ quality. Client: Mercenary Guild. ]

The receptionist saw Xiu staring at the request for “exploring the Gnome ruins” and advised him: “It’s best not to try this task. The Gnome ruins are not a good place to play.”

“If I finish the job and the rating for the materials I find are S, will my mercenary rank rise?” asked Xiu unemotionally.

“Your present mercenary rank is E, if you can get the S-class material …” The receptionist calculated and gave her answer: “Your mercenary rank can be upgraded to A.”

“I’ll do it.” Briskly, with a no nonsense attitude, Xiu immediately put his mercenary card on the counter.

The receptionist wanted to persuade him against it. She was reluctant to see such a beautiful creature die. But when the receptionist saw the elf’s indifference, she sighed and accepted the card.

– excerpt from “Mixed Blood”

The author has something to say:

Protagonist (Gnome form): Hold me then sit on it.

Reader: Okay.

…… (time interval)

Protagonist (Demon form): Oh … No strength?

Readers: … Damn you! Hiss——QAQ

Author: What happened? I don’t know. ⊙▽⊙