Chapter 231: I Wouldn't Usually Laugh...

Chapter 231: I Wouldn’t Usually Laugh…

Zu An was rendered speechless.

No matter how thick his skin was, his face still couldn’t help but flush red.

However, he calmed down as he noticed Mi Li’s slightly-flushed cheeks. “Big sis empress, there’s something I’m curious about. Since you are in soul form, I can understand if you can create clothes and such. However, why can I see you blushing?”

Mi Li suddenly turned around, shooting him a vicious look. “Are you feeling cocky now? Let’s see if you still feel cocky after I cut off your hateful thing!”

After saying this, the Tai’e Sword flew directly towards his crotch.

This scared the living daylights out of Zu An. He jumped back into bed, wrapping himself tightly within the comforter. “Big sis empress, don’t act rashly! This concerns the happiness of the second half of your life!”

“Hm?” Mi Li arched her slender brows. The Tai’e Sword came to a halt, its point lowering slightly.

Zu An hurriedly explained, “If someone with my level of libido can’t continue living on as a man, there won’t be anything to live for anymore! If I end my life just like that, it won’t be good for big sis either, will it?”

“Your level of libido?” Mi Li snorted. “It seems like you at least understand yourself well.”

She finally retracted the sword, and Zu An heaved a sigh of relief. A thought came to him. Is this sword still mine or not? Why is it completely obedient to her now?

“Put on your clothes. This empress has some things to talk to you about.” Mi Li stood with her hands behind her back and averted her gaze.

Hearing her serious tone, Zu An set aside his mischievous attitude and dressed quickly. While putting on his clothes, his gaze was drawn to a captivating red stain on the bed sheets, and his lips spread in a slight smile.

When he was done, he asked hurriedly, “Big sis empress, what did you want to talk about?”

Mi Li turned around. Seeing him fully-dressed, her expression finally softened. “I wanted to talk to you about your physical state. When I saw you fight against Zhang Han and the others, you were as slippery as an eel. However, when I fought against you later on, your movements seemed to have become much more rigid. It was the same when that Shi Lezhi or whoever was chasing after you last night. What is going on?”

After all, possessing a miraculous movement technique like this was the same as having an additional life-saving weapon. She wanted Zu An to possess as many such skills as possible.

When she brought up this topic, Zu An immediately became depressed. “I’m really going to cry if we keep talking about this… this movement technique seems to have been specially made for eunuchs!”

“Eunuch?” Mi Li was momentarily stunned. Her gaze subconsciously drifted down between his legs, as she wondered how this fellow could possibly have anything to do with a eunuch.

Zu An’s face flushed red. “Um… you better not laugh at what I’m about to tell you!”

Mi Li scoffed haughtily. “Do you know how much strife and turbulence this empress has witnessed? Why would I laugh at some random words spoken by someone like you?”

What kind of joke was this? The empress of a country was trained in such matters  since childhood. Maintaining a composed exterior was the most basic of basics! If she suddenly laughed while facing the court councilors, she would have embarrassed the entire imperial family!

Zu An hid a sigh of relief, and proceeded to tell Mi Li about the Sunflower Phantasm and his previous seal.

As she listened to his tale, Mi Li’s expression grew strange. Her red lips slowly spread open as her gaze swept over his face and his legs. In the end, she laughed out loud.

Zu An’s face darkened. “You promised me you wouldn’t laugh!”

Seeing Zu An throw a tantrum like a spoiled child only fueled Mi Li’s mirth. The smile on her face grew bigger and bigger, and  her entire body began to rock back and forth from laughter.

Zu An’s face darkened even further, and steam threatened to come out of his ears.

Mi Li tried to curb her laughter. “I’m so, so sorry, I wouldn’t usually laugh! Only when I cannot…”

Another peal of laughter rocked her before she could even finish her sentence.

Thoroughly humiliated, Zu An flew into a rage. “Laugh then, laugh all you want! Why don’t you just laugh yourself to death!”

Only after a long time did Mi Li’s breathing finally start to steady. “I really didn’t expect that… you actually had such a miserable past.”

Zu An turned his back to her. “I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

Mi Li snuggled closer. “Don’t be so tight-lipped… come, come, tell me about everything that has ever made you unhappy. Not only will you be able to release your pent-up frustrations, but I would be able to get some enjoyment out of it as well! Isn’t this what you call a win-win situation?”

Zu An was completely shell-shocked.

This woman really knew how to hit a man while he was down! If he hadn’t been afraid that he couldn’t defeat her, he would’ve spanked her ass a long time ago.

“No wonder everyone had on such strange expressions when they found out you had given the Evanescent Lotus to Chu Chuyan! It turns out that was your seal-breaking medicine.” Mi Li reached out a long and slender finger, which glistened slightly as if lightly coated with an immortal elixir. She gently hooked it around his chin while saying, “You really do go all-in with women…”

Zu An’s body froze as he felt the soft sensation beneath his chin. “Aren’t you just a soul? How am I able to feel your finger like this?”

Mi Li pulled her hand back. “Hmph, my current state is more accurately described as a half-soul body, existing between an incorporeal and a material state. As long as I wish it, I can make it tangible to others.”

Zu An stared blankly. Couldn’t the two of us do some naughty things, then?

*Smack!*

A sharp and clear sound rang out. The Tai’e Sword trembled slightly.

Zu An gasped, clutching at his palm. “What’re you doing?”

“Who told you to have such despicable thoughts?” Mi Li snorted.

Zu An bolted to his feet in an instant. He pointed at her and yelled, “You told me that you couldn’t read my thoughts!”

Mi Li narrowed her eyes at him. “This empress had eons more experience than you! What kind of subtlety could a brat like you possibly possess? I can see right through you with a single glance!”

Zu An wasn’t convinced. “Why can you talk to me directly through my mind, then?”

Mi Li replied with an indifferent tone, “That is merely the result of a mysterious connection formed by the Life-and-Death Contract between us, which allows our souls to communicate naturally via a special frequency.”

Zu An’s eyes widened. “How do you even know a word like ‘frequency’?” 

“Didn’t I just say that our souls are intimately linked? The words I use will be automatically translated into something you can easily understand, and that you are most familiar with.” Mi Li explained.

“Is that really how it works?” Zu An was still skeptical.

Mi Li was in no mood to argue the matter with him, and moved on to a more pressing issue. “Brat, even though your cultivation is low, your knowledge and experiences are not. You were actually able to quickly deduce that your Sunflower Phantasm is only suited for eunuchs. Someone at the eighth rank would normally find such a deduction difficult, let alone someone at your level of cultivation. Don’t tell me you really are a legendary genius?”

“But of course! Take a good look at who you are talking about!” Zu An’s expression was full of pride, but on the inside, he continuously thanked Invincible East, Yue Buqun, Ling Pingzhi and all the other godfathers.[1]

Mi Li pondered a moment before saying, “Explain the Sunflower Phantasm’s ki flow to me in detail. Do not omit the slightest bit of information.”

Zu An nodded. Without hesitation, he revealed everything he knew about the Sunflower Phantasm.

After listening intently to what he had to say, Mi Li fell deep into thought. A good while later, her red lips finally opened gently. “This movement technique is indeed miraculous, but some parts of it are not quite accurate. Let me modify it for you slightly, and mix in a bit of my own movement technique. When you transfer your ki in the future, the various acupuncture points need to be used in such ways…”

She demonstrated her points as she explained them, her figure dancing about gracefully. She was truly as elegant as a goddess descending from the moonlit clouds. Her body fluttered about like snowflakes in a gentle breeze. 

Zu An was completely entranced. That emperor really was a heartless creature, to seal away a goddess like this for thousands of years.

Mi Li finally finished her demonstration, and noticed his somewhat dazed expression. “Were you paying attention or not?!” she snapped in annoyance.

“Of course I was!” Zu An immediately replied.

“How much of it do you remember, then?”

“Pretty much all of it.”

“Is that so? Then why don’t you go through it once for me?” Mi Li sneered. This fellow was completely enchanted by me just now. How could he have possibly concentrated on learning the technique? This is a good chance for me to properly discipline him.

“No problem!” Zu An spent some time recalling what she’d said. His eyes flew open, and took a step forward. There were suddenly two copies of him, both of them possessing an aura similar to his own. The resemblance was so uncanny that he himself found it almost impossible to distinguish them.

Unfortunately, when he took a second step, his energies suddenly became chaotic. He staggered and crashed heavily to the ground.

Zu An’s face flushed with embarrassment. “I made a mistake just now. Should I try again?”

Mi Li was stupefied. “Have you studied this before?”

“Of course. Aren’t these just some modifications made to the basic Sunflower Phantasm? The only thing different is these clones.” As he replayed what had just happened in his mind, he discovered that this movement technique was already far better than his previous one.

The previous Sunflower Phantasm had excelled in its fast speed and fiendishly elusive movements, and it did not telegraph in which direction the user was moving. Now, this set of movements also had powerful illusion effects.

Such an effect would perfectly confuse any enemy he was fighting, especially if what the enemy saw was not just an afterimage, but copies of him that carried the same exact auras as himself. His enemies would not know which figure to attack.This was pretty much an entire extra life!

Mi Li stared at him. “No, I was talking about my directions just now.”

“No, I haven’t. You’ve only shown this to me once. Is it supposed to be hard?” A strange expression suddenly appeared on Zu An’s face. “Big sis empress, how long did it take you to learn this?”

Mi Li turned her head away in disdain, her expression haughty. “When this empress studied this before, I was able to immediately produce four copies! Your trifling two copies is just barely a pass.”

Despite her words, she felt thoroughly ashamed inside. Back then, it had taken her an entire month just to produce two copies!

1. Invincible East, Yue Buqun, and Ling Pingzhi are characters from The Smiling, Proud Wanderer.