Chapter 22 – The Western Doll and Potato Chips

Isn’t that Ai Mi’er? Is she wearing a new outfit again? Do you think you’re Sakura Kinomoto? (TN: I think the character changes outfits a lot or something)

This time she tied her bow on her neck and used a thin red hairband to secure her twin-tails. She was dressed very goth-like in an all black dress and she even wore white stockings underneath. A pair of extra thick doll shoes on her feet with two silver crosses for decoration…this type of abnormal style really feels like something a celebrity would come up with! She even wore a pair of sunglasses to hide her identity.

Why are you dressed so dazzling if you want to hide your identity? Besides, your golden hair is bright enough as it is! Although there have been more and more foreigners coming to this city over the past couple of years, so people wouldn’t be curious and inhumanely surround travelers and stare impolitely, a doll-like appearance is still very eye-catching!

The sunglasses she bought were also slightly too big, so it had a tendency of slipping off her nose requiring her to constantly push it with her hands.

She strenuously pushed the shopping cart, constantly stopping and looking left and right, as if she was afraid of being followed.

Did she grow paranoid after being stalked in America?

She finally stopped in front of the shelf holding chips.

Even though her eyes were hidden by her sunglasses, you could still see a thirsty gaze towards chips in her blue eyes.

It’s like a starved cat seeing fish.

It’s not that outrageous, right? Wasn’t this junk food invented by you Americans? Shouldn’t you already be tired of eating it after living in America for so long?

Ai Mi’er reached out to grab a can of chips on the shelf.

It was unfortunate that the height the can was placed at was unfavorable. Ai Mi’er who was only 1.40 m couldn’t even reach it on her tiptoes. She tried her utmost to extend her arm and desperately tried to reach the chips.

But she still couldn’t reach it.

After stopping to catch her breath, she tip-toed and tried again. She made a groaning sound while exerting effort, but it was to no avail.

Eh, she has an unyielding expression! She looks angry and feels wronged, it’s like she’s saying “God must hate me!”. Do you want to eat chips that badly? Are you willing to disrespect God to eat chips? I guess if Satan can help you get the chips, you might even sign a contract with him without any hesitation and sit on the sidelines satisfied while appreciating judgment day?

Anyways, did the guy who was stocking the chips have his salary delayed by Wal-mart? Is he retaliating by putting the chips so high up? Food for children should be put at the bottom!

There wasn’t anyone near the snack area, but I guess even if there were, you’re too prideful to ask? Last time, I was abused by her after trying to give her directions.

Eh? Are you still not giving up? Realizing that she won’t be able to reach the chips with her height, she started to climb on top of the shopping cart. Do you want to use your shopping cart as a stepping stone to obtain your precious chips?

Be careful, even if you’re light it’s still very dangerous! Hey hey, the cart’s shaking! It’s no use even if you’re trying to wave your hands for balance! You’re going to fall! You fell! You’re going to hit your head!

I rushed forward with a large stride and caught the falling Ai Mi’er from behind.

She was very light, it felt like she would break if I just gently touched her. I held her by her waist and gently placed her down on the ground like a cat.

Ai Mi’er was still in a panicked state and her tiny chest was moving up and down. Her sunglasses was completely crooked, it looked pretty ridiculous.

After recovering, she immediately struggled out from my hands. Her face was completely red as if she was very embarrassed and had an annoyed expression like she was saying none of your business.

She bit her lips and looked towards me, after seeing me she was visibly stunned.

I decided to open my mouth before she abused me, in order to tease her and teach her a lesson.

“What’s wrong? Do you want chips? You can just tell me if you want chips. How would I know you want chips if you don’t ask?”

Ai Mi’er was frightened by my weird dialogue and took a step back. She must have never seen “Journey to the West“. (TN: A classic story, here he’s referring to a derivative movie)

I was appreciating the frightened expression of this doll who has a terrible expression and continue to speak:

“It’s not that I’m not giving it to you because you don’t want it, but it’s because you don’t want it that I have to give it to you~”

“Stalker!” Ai Mi’er shrieked at me.

“Who are you calling a stalker, I’m a senior monk, from the East of the Tang dynasty!”

“Pervert!”

Her voice was becoming louder, I was worried that it was going to attract security. So I reached up and grabbed a can of chips and started shaking the can in a place where she couldn’t reach.

“Do you want this? Miss Ai Mi’er?” is what I intended to say, but maybe it’s because I’m not used to foreign name and accidentally dropped a tone and it became: “Do you want this? Miss Ai Mi?”

My face flushed, I can’t believe my English is bad to the extent where I would mispronounce an English name that was already converted into Chinese characters.

Ai Mi’er had a perplexed and suspicious gaze.

“Stalker, how do you know my real name?”

“Eh?”

“Ai Mi’er is my stage name, only my family members call me Ai Mi!”

I accidentally hit the nail on the head? But, I think that Ai Mi is a great name! It’s closer to an actual Chinese name, it’s also short. I’ve decided I’m going to call you Ai Mi from now on! If that’ll make you angry, that’s even better.

Ai Mi took a cautious stance against me, it looked like she could kick me anytime. Hence, I protected my bottom.

“I saw you yesterday at the subway station as well…were you sent by my mom to monitor me?”

“Eh? As if I know your mom! Anyways, who would monitor their daughter for no good reason?”

“Of course—-” Ai Mi pointed at the can of chips I was holding up with an angry and sorrowful expression.

“Of course it’s because of this!!”

“Because of chips?”

“Of course it’s because of chips!! Because of my mom, since childhood, since childhood…I’ve never had chips! Not even once!”

Ai Mi had a flustered and exasperated expression.

You’ve actually never had chips even once? Even it’s for the health of a child, isn’t this mom going a bit too overboard?

But since now that I know chips are your weakness, I can avenge myself from what you did to me at the subway station.

I shook the can that I was raising up in the air, the chips inside made a cracking sound.

“You meanie! Don’t shake the can!” Ai Mi had an expression where she looked close to crying.

“Do you want it?”

“…”

“If you apologize to me, I’ll give the chips to you.”

“…”

“You don’t even have to say much, just lower your head and say: ‘I’m sorry I kicked you last time, I’m just a brat that still stinks of breast milk, so I’m still very ignorant. Big brother, please forgive me’. If you say it like that then I’ll forgive you.”

Ai Mi was still silent, but her eager blue eyes that were fixated on the can of chips betrayed her.

“As if, as if I would apologize to a stalker like you!”

Ai Mi reached her hand into her bulging fanny pack, pulled out a stack of brand new 100 dollar bills and raised them up to get my attention.

“This is your commission money! Give me the chips and you can take these red dollar bills away!”

There were at least 10 bills, but she didn’t look like she was in pain. Is it because American dollars is green and that’s why your first impression on the RMB is that it’s red? You’re using 1000 dollars to buy a can of chips from me (And I’m not even the actual owner), that’s really the kind of extravagant action that a common citizen like me can’t understand! There has to be a limit to reckless spending! If I can meet a stupid rich brat like you every day, I can just stand here helping them get chips and I’ll be a millionaire!

“Hurry and take the money! Do you feel it’s still too less?” Ai Mi took out another stack from her bag.

“Add this as well! For those chips you’re holding! No matter how greedy you are, this should be enough!”

Looks like she’s going crazy trying to get chips!

I felt like that I already teased her enough so I handed over the can of chips I was holding.

Ai Mi took over the chips with glistening eyes and looked like she wished she could rub the chips on her chest and give it a few kisses. The way she hugged the chips felt like someone receiving the Oscar for best female lead.

“This is the commission I promised you!” Ai Mi stabbed my arm with that stack of money.

“You can leave after you take the money! You’re already useless!” An infuriating bossy attitude.

I didn’t take the stack of money. It’s not that I view money as dirt, but it’s because I knew that if I took it, the color of disdain in Ai Mi’s blue eyes would become even thicker. I don’t know why, but I really don’t want to be looked down upon by this doll.

“Why aren’t you taking it? Aren’t you celestial imperial people the most greedy for money?”

I suddenly wanted to laugh, why are you, an American calling us “celestial imperial people”? That’s something we use on the net to mock ourselves. But you used “Your sister”, such an advanced auxiliary word during our first meeting, your Chinese must already be at level 10.

Based on her proficiency in Chinese, it’s definitely not attainable just by studying for a bit. She probably was listening to, speaking, and not often writing Chinese since childhood. Other than the fact that her handwriting is still like an elementary school student’s, her proficiency is second only to Chinese people of her age.

If she’s mixed blooded, does she have Chinese blood flowing in her? Is her father or mother Chinese?

“See ya, you can keep the money for yourself. You might also want to quickly put it away before becoming a target for robbers.” I turned my body around and left.

“You—- get back here!”

I ignored her and continued walking.

“I — still have more work for you!”

I was curious so I stopped and looked back at her.

Ai Mi pointed at the highest point of the shelf. Although she was unwilling and embarrassed, eventually she yelled: “One can is not enough! Help me get more chips!”

I chuckled, went over and grabbed 5, 6 more cans of chips of different brands and placed them in Ai Mi’s shopping cart.

Now Ai Mi was perfectly content.

“Do you… really not need the money?”

“Chinese people don’t take handouts, we’re all selfless citizens. Anything else?”

Ai Mi didn’t understand what I meant, knitted her brows, turned her head and snorted: “It’s none of your business, you can leave!”

I stuck one hand into my pockets, and turned around with a cool pose and left.

I’ll let you American imperialists check out our celestial imperialist people’s noble characters!

I took my attention off of Ai Mi and started to make plans for my own dinner.

Vegetarian balls, spring rolls, and soy sauce beef.

I also bought the onions that my dad asked for.

I went to the cashier and paid the bill.

I placed the items in my basket and left while humming the main theme song of “Tai-Chi Master“. I walked by the frozen section very satisfied.

I unexpectedly saw Ai Mi again.

Except now her shopping cart had two extra 2.5L bottles of cola. Her cart was even heavier, and she was pushing with all her strength.

She was also wandering around aimlessly, she would stop and then look around showing a helpless expression.

After passing by an employee, it looked liked she was about to ask something, but in the end, she bit her lips resolutely and didn’t ask.

She walked away haughtily and lonely while pushing her creaking cart.

Behind her haughty mask, she had a lonesome expression.

Don’t tell me…are you lost again?