Chapter 312 – Forced Quarantine

Huh, so this wasn’t the first time Obama used Ai Mi’s underwear in exchange for food? So, he doesn’t have super intelligence, but rather he was conditioned by a stalker?

Regardless of the truth, the international lolicon association (ILA) would give you a medal.

Although Obama held on and wouldn’t let go (since it’s something he could exchange for food), he was eventually subdued by Peng TouSi who came over because of the sound.

“Throw it in the pulverizer.” Peng TouSi handed the underwear to 005 and gave him a command.

What a waste. Space is limited in a RV, but they still brought along a pulverizer. No, I can’t go and look and the pulverizer. My heart bleeds simply thinking about the twenty thousand dollars that’s going to be shredded.

Even though I failed at obtaining my sister’s underwear, I’ve still obtained some valuable information. Once I find a more suitable time, dog food and a tooth cover, I might be able to obtain a pair of underwear not drenched in saliva.

Where would I get large tooth covers, but tooth covers won’t work either. The main problem is the saliva from the tongue, I would have to use a ‘tongue cover’… being a human is so worrisome…

In the afternoon, Su Qiao gave me another call and told me her manager wanted to meet at a nearby cafe. I thought he definitely wanted to scam me if he was this enthusiastic, so I said I had hemorrhoids and couldn’t drink coffee to refuse Su Qiao’s good intentions.

I circled around the RV multiple times to see if I could deduce the inner layout of the RV, but it was fruitless.

It’s not like Ai Mi forbid me from entering, but she was in a bad mood and didn’t let me in her personal area. I was only allowed to sit with the bodyguards in the rear cabin area.

Is the rear cabin even a suitable place for people to stay? It’s even worse than economy class on airplanes! Seven or eight bodyguards with large figures have to squeeze into two tight rows of seats without a chance to even stretch your limbs. Their eyes are wide open as if they’re going to embark on the beaches of Normandy.

Is it so they can leave the RV quickly to deal with urgent matters? Stop making a big deal over minor issues, which lolicon needs eight muscular bodyguards armed to the teeth with weapons?

The worst part is there’s a hole the size of a volleyball in the middle of the floor. You guys won’t even believe me if I told you its use. It’s used for peeing, if your bladder is full, then just empty it into the hole. Even though there’s a washroom specifically for bodyguards, you can’t use it unless it’s urgent.

It’s awful, what kind of lives are American bodyguards living? Why don’t they raise their pitchforks and revolt against the evil capitalists who exploit them?

Wait, it seems Ai ShuQiao would be the evil capitalist. Usually, only antagonists would tell other people to beat their own mother.

But it’s fine, I don’t have any relationship with Ai ShuQiao. You can safely overthrow her while I’ll give you support. Then we can share her wealth equally.

But now that I think about it, Ai Mi is a ruthless capitalist.

She actually told her brother to stay in the narrow rear cabin. Even though it had a great air filtration system, it still couldn’t beat the strong smell of men! Also, I had to urinate in front of these foreigners, who knew if any of them were gay like Peng TouSi.

Besides, if I stayed too long, the egg in my pocket might turn spoiled. It seems gramps was still planning on taking the egg back from me to eat. If the egg was ingrained with the flavors of European and American men, gramps might give me a death strike in a fit of anger.

That’s why I never got on Ai Mi’s RV. I waited until the sky got dark and prepared to ride the subway home.

Ai Mi had just finished filming and she was cooling off her tired body on her personal water bed. She used a remote control to open the automatic window of the RV a third of the way, then she rested her chin on her arms and stared at me without any energy.

“Manservant, when are you breaking up with that violent woman?”

It’s useless asking me since even if I break up with Xiao Qin, it has nothing to do with you. I should be the one asking you when you would be taking a shower and changing your underwear.

“It’s all because of you… I think mom found out about us cheating… now she hired a writing teacher to monitor me every day. It’s so annoying. Hurry up and take responsibility by knocking the teacher out on his way home!”

Why do I have to take responsibility? This was only caused by your own laziness. What crimes did the writing teacher commit? I, on the other hand, want to hire some terrorists to knock out Ai ShuQiao.

Seeing as I didn’t reply energetically, Ai Mi angrily shut the windows and told the driver to drive away. I was left standing alone in the exhaust of the RV.

An old man dressed in a suit, who I didn’t recognize, placed his hand on my shoulder and tried to comfort me:

“Don’t lose hope. There will be more chances.”

Damn, who are you? Don’t just jump out and scare people!

Wait, isn’t he Kyle’s personal translator? Kyle was standing in the distance while sticking up his thumb… Is this what he means by a fair fight? Did he send a translator to boost my morale when I failed to pick up Ai Mi? I don’t need it, I wasn’t even trying to pick up my sister. As for someone like you who’s full of evil desires, you should get as far away from here as possible.

After I chased Kyle away, Auntie Ren drove next to me, but she had no intention of giving me a ride.

She rolled down her window and I saw an envelope filled with money in the passenger seat.

Perhaps… is it the second batch of payments for playing the role of the evil monk? (It’s probably also the final payment) Based on Auntie Ren’s expression, it looks like she’s planning to head to the hotel where my dad is staying and hand the money to my guardian.

It’s really a waste of effort since my dad will transfer the money to my account once he gets it. Auntie Ren, you’re so stubborn. Or are you afraid I’ll buy Xiao Qin more things once I get the cash, and Xiao Qin will throw herself into my arms?

Auntie Ren, you’re intelligence is out of date. Xiao Qin already threw herself in my arms ages ago. Also, I would never spend money to win Xiao Qin’s favor, it’s more likely I would spend money to annoy her. The running shoes are a special exception.

I didn’t want Auntie Ren to waste her time, so I urged her to not go.

“Auntie Ren, you already had some bad luck the last time you went to deliver money, are you not afraid of meeting the anti-pornography brigade again?”

Auntie Ren glared at me, “I can’t believe he would tell it to kids, how shameless…”

I laughed and said: “It’s better to be safe than sorry…”

Auntie Ren looked at me like I was trash and snorted:

“Last time, I already ran into the anti-pornography brigade, if I run into them again… do you think your family runs the anti-pornography brigade?”

Then she slammed the gas and sped away, leaving me in the exhaust of the yellow bumblebee.

Kyle’s translator came over and patted my shoulders again:

“Don’t lose hope. There will be more chances.”

Screw you, get the hell out of here! Why are you still here when Kyle already left? How does it even look like I failed at trying to pick up Auntie Ren? How perverted would I have to be to make a move on my mother-in-law!

I didn’t respect the elderly and raised my fist. He turned away like a gentleman and walked away energetically.

It looks like there are no normal people around Kyle. I should stay away from him in the future.

In addition, the stubborn Auntie Ren who had to deliver the money to my father had even worse luck than last time.

Five minutes after Auntie Ren walked into the hotel, before she could even finish a conversation with my dad, she noticed a lot of special police outside wearing NBC suits.

They surrounded the hotel and their leader made a loud announcement on the megaphone.

It seems in the afternoon, there was a tourist living in the hotel who was tested positive for the H7N9 virus. In order to prevent the virus from spreading, the leader made an order that everyone in the hotel will be forcibly quarantined for a week. No one can leave until they determine the crisis has been cleared.

What kind of development is this? Auntie Ren must have looked pale at the time.

Since it has to do with the public’s safety, even Auntie Ren’s brother or father wouldn’t be able to get her out. It seems the ‘Magic Cauldron’ would be missing the crucial martial arts director for the next week of filming.

Even if Auntie Ren told my dad to contact the president of the HHH Enthusiasts Club, Director Cao would say the president was busy with some sort of experiment and didn’t have time for anything else.

Thus, Auntie Ren was forced to stay in the same hotel as my father for at least a week without any personal belongings.

Auntie Ren must have had tears in her eyes, and I, as her junior, can only feel sad for her…