Chapter 34 - Author: Choose a good rival, this is a lifetime thing.

Chapter 34.1 – Author: Choose a good rival, this is a lifetime thing.

“Four years” – these words echoed in Du Ze’s mind. He couldn’t imagine it. Clearly, he just went out for a little bit … Four years?

This was too much information for him to process!

The stupefied Du Ze sat up and stared vacantly at Xiu. He could clearly see that the gnome’s mouth was red. Xiu seemed to be aware of this and licked the corners of his mouth before revealing a very sweet smile, like a child eating his favorite candy. The protagonist was giving off a sweet but dark air.

Du Ze’s heart beat violently. He looked at Xiu’s hand that reached out and carefully rubbed the back of his neck. Xiu liked touching his neck before, but somehow, this time it was different. He could feel Xiu’s fingertips on his skin, hinting at excitement, ready to make trouble.

Something’s not right. Du Ze swallowed his saliva with some difficulty. His throat felt tight. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down and Xiu’s fingers slid underneath it.

The protagonist was now giving him a feeling like he was a volcano that was about to explode while Du Ze was stuck in the crater waiting to die – well, if any YY novel protagonist had to wait for a little brother for four years, his anger gauge must be overflowing. But please be calm, protagonist! The author did not write “four years flew by” – therefore, if you want to explode, please find your family’s rotten “haha” (troll) author instead of venting your anger on this innocent reader!1_ (: з “∠)

Du Ze felt Xiu’s hand encircle the back of his neck as the gnome pulled him closer. The young boy, with his forehead against Du Ze’s, said in a soft, sweet voice: “Do you have anything to say?”

This young man really does not know why it turned out like this – ah!

“If you don’t, then listen to me.” Xiu soft voice was full of patience. “I have a lot to tell you.”

“Boom–!!!”

A huge explosion came from the west where the Gnome Ruins’ “Wisdom” plaza was located. Black smoke rose from that direction. Old John frowned; his gentle voice was tinged with a slight displeasure: “Someone broke in. Are children so violent now? … Here they come.”

The street became noisy with the sound of many footsteps drawing nearer. Du Ze put Xiu behind him – now that the protagonist was in his gnome form, it’s a bit inconvenient.

Those people moved very fast and they appeared in front of Du Ze almost instantly. It was a mercenary squad. A thief with neat, light-colored short hair was running ahead of the main group. When the thief saw Du Ze and Old John, he slammed on the brakes. One of his companions that was behind him narrowly missed a collision.

“Hey! Why did you suddenly stop and block my way, Enoch?!”

The one complaining was a muscular, brawny man with a big sword in his hand. Sitting on his shoulder was a little girl who clapped her hands and giggled, saying: “Enoch is a fool ~ a fool!”2

The burglar, known as Enoch, turned back. Pointing to Old John and Du Ze, he asked: “Don’t you see the people across the street?”

Du Ze stared at the group of people. Effortlessly, he recalled their names: Rogue Enoch, Warrior Bart, Fire Wizard Honey, and … Du Ze’s heartbeat began to quicken, and he stared at the figure that was slowly walking toward them. It was a blond youth clad in silver-white armor, with a heroic, bold3 face and eyes as bright as stars. When Du Ze looked at him, there seemed to be a villain in his brain narrating the plot of “Mixed Blood.”

The protagonist joined a mercenary team.

There was a high-strung thief named Enoch, who always liked to run first.

There was a young fire wizard named Honey, who likes humming.

There was a big sword fighter named Bart, who everyone knows is a bodyguard for Honey.

They pointed to the Paladin and said to the protagonist, this is our captain.

His name is Eric.

Paladin Eric.

— the rival has appeared! Hello, big brother.

In YY novels, the rival’s role is very important. He and the cannon fodder serve to give experience, send equipment, send sisters, send younger brothers, and so on to the protagonist. It’s a heavy responsibility.

However, there is a big difference between the rival and cannon fodder. One is a durable item while the other is disposable – the cannon fodder only appears once, but the rival will dedicate his whole life to follow the protagonist from start to finish. His time on stage is even longer than that of the harem members. Therefore, there is a popular saying among the harem novel writers: “Choose a good rival for your hero. It’s a lifetime thing.”

Yi Ye Zhi Qiu chose a good match (?) for his family’s protagonist. First of all, the rival has excellent talent (Human) similar to the main character. His affinity for the light element is SS level which is enough to suppress the protagonist. Secondly, the rival’s background was particularly glorious and domineering: he is the Son of the Lord of the Temple of Light. His social status is very noble and lofty,4 not to mention that his relationship with Saint Vivian is also ambiguous. Taking all this into account, the protagonist has every reason to want to choke him to death.

(TN: Eric is called 圣子 which literally means the “Son of God” but also means the son of the saint, the son of the holy king, etc.)

When the hero first met his rival, the son of the Lord was concealing his identity while he traveled around the Chaos Continent. At that time, none of the readers thought of it as a fateful encounter. The readers were still naive and looked forward to how the too awesome5 protagonist would lead the mercenary team into the Gnome Ruins. The mercenary leader looked very good, the protagonist checked over his little brother (possible future ally) ~

Later, the readers learned that Enoch was a direct descendant of Jack, the king of thieves.

Later, the readers learned that Honey was “Mage God” Antonio’s6 granddaughter.

Later, the readers learned that Eric was the son of the Lord of the Temple of Light.

Later… there was no later.

Eric never forgot his elf friend, and when the two of them learned of each other’s identities later, they began their mutual lifelong rivalry.

Chapter 34.2 – Author: Choose a good rival, this is a lifetime thing.

Du Ze’s feelings for the rival are complicated. Yi Ye Zhi Qiu described Eric this way: Blond hair like sunshine, handsome, promising, possessing all the virtues – it’s deja vu! Ah! The description is exactly how the protagonist was like before he blackened. Author, you are deliberately provoking the readers! Do you want this reader to cry? This young man will really cry!

Every time he saw the rival in “Mixed Blood,” Du Ze always thought: If I had not gone to the comment section to get attention from the author, would the protagonist be the same as the rival? And the f**king author was simply inhuman: in “Mixed Blood,” the protagonist is trying to destroy the world while his rival is trying to stop him.

The readers were in a muddle.

F**k, which one is the lead, which one is the villain?!

The ones who were the most excited about the similarities and differences between the protagonist and his rival was a group of ladies and sisters. Du Ze’s line of sight began to slide away. Although the character inside the doujinshi and the real person weren’t the same, the thought of the scene inside the doujinshi where the rival cried “pull it out ~”,1 some silly, cute person couldn’t look directly at the rival.

The last one to walk into sight was an elf with a bow and arrow. Du Ze looked at the elf, who was as beautiful as the rumors had said, and thought that the plot god was truly hardworking and dedicated: since the protagonist had not joined the mercenary team, it found an elf to fill the missing slot so that the mercenary team will have five members, just like in “Mixed Blood.”

Honey, who was sitting on Bart’s shoulder, saw the flaxen-haired Xiu behind Du Ze.

“There’s a kid ~” The little girl waved excitedly: “Look, look!”

Eric looked where Honey indicated, and when he saw Du Ze, his eyes flashed and a very sunny smile appeared.

“We are the Gold mercenary team, I am captain Eric.” Eric sheathed his sword as if to say that he had no evil intentions: “You are?”

Old John did not speak, he was waiting for Xiu’s instructions; Xiu did not speak, he was lying silently on the back of Du Ze; Du Ze did not speak, some silly Moe person cannot overcome his social barrier.

In the face of the Silent Regiment, Eric was a bit surprised but not discouraged. He took a step towards Du Ze and insisted: “Can you tell me your name?”

The scope of his attention had narrowed to “you.” Du Ze looked at Eric and thought that the mercenary captain was looking at Xiu who was behind Du Ze. His heart was filled with admiration: to find the protagonist so easily, Eric is really worthy of being the protagonist’s biggest rival.

Some stupid reader suddenly felt like a third wheel. This was clearly the protagonist and his rival’s fateful first encounter so for Du Ze to be here is too improper. However, at this time Du Ze felt a pair of hands encircling his neck from the back.

Xiu held Du Ze and looked straight at the handsome young blond man. “Why should I tell you?”

His voice revealed a strong discontent, but with his soft, white appearance, it was more like a child losing his temper.

When the mercenary team saw Xiu, they were astonished. Enoch rubbed his eyes repeatedly. “I, I actually saw a legendary gnome.”

“Stupid Enoch! Now that the Demons have appeared, there is nothing strange about a gnome appearing, too.” Honey’s attention was caught and her eyes were reluctant to leave Xiu. “He is so cute ~ small, soft, tender, the gnome is so cute ~”

The little girl slapped the warrior’s brawny shoulder: “I declare that this lady in love today.”

Bart, with a wry smile, said to Honey: “Miss, the gnome looks small, but he should be twice as old as you.”

The elf glanced at the Xiu and Du Ze and looked at the hands that circled the latter’s neck silently.

Eric also looked somewhat surprised when he saw that the person opposite him was exuding hostility. He still smiled very genially: “I just want to get to know you …”

“We don’t want to get to know you.” Xiu bluntly interrupted Eric’s words, firmly rejecting his offer: “Now, you have a quarter of an hour to get out of here.”

Eric was a little startled. The flaxen-haired gnome whose hands tightly held onto the black-haired youth was acting as though he was a child who was scared that other people would steal his beloved toy, pushing other people away from his turf. Eric didn’t have time to say anything before Enoch rolled up his sleeves. “The gnome is so unpleasant that I want to teach him a lesson!”

Xiu smiled and his eyes curved like crescent moons, his small dimples unusually sweet.

“There are five minutes left. Then you die.”

******

******

Xiu took the mercenary card from the receptionist. As he was just about to leave the mercenary guild, he heard someone behind him shouting.

“Hey! Look, there’s an elf who also took on the Gnome Ruins mission!” That voice was getting nearer. “The elf in front, please wait, brother!”

Xiu kept on moving until a rogue jumped in front of him. The burglar saw Xiu’s cold, handsome face, and suddenly froze like an elephant struck by petrification magic. Xiu was about to walk past him when two people appeared in front of him. It was a brawny man and a little girl. The little girl was about 12 years old and she was looking at the Xiu with sparkling eyes.

“You are beautiful, ah ~ The Elves are so beautiful ~” The little girl pulled at the brawny man’s clothes: “I declare that this lady in love today.”

The brawny man smiled wryly. “Miss, although the elf is very beautiful, his age should be several times yours.”

Xiu’s face was expressionless as he looked at this group of people. At this time, a blond youth walked over and stopped in front of Xiu. His eyes flashed with a glimmer of appreciation.

“I’m so sorry, my teammates are very impulsive,” he said. The blond youth looked sorry as he smiled brightly at Xiu. “My name is Eric. This is my mercenary squad. We’re going to explore the Gnome Ruins, too. Would you like to join us?”

– excerpt from “Mixed Blood”

********

The author has something to say:

Protagonist: Henceforth, you are my rival. (Seizes the reader)

Readers: … What’s wrong?!

Protagonist: Let’s go fight. (Drags him to bed)

Author: Choose a good rival (to sleep with),2 this is a lifetime thing. = =+