Chapter 180 – Karst Landforms

Are you not afraid of Shu Zhe because he is wearing a wig? How casual is your androphobia?

Not only was she not afraid, she even stared curiously for a while and had a happy expression.

I thought Xiao Qin was jubilant because she discovered Shu Zhe’s true identity and realized there was hope of her androphobia being cured, but who knew she would put her hands directly on Shu Zhe’s chest.

“Ahhhh, I finally found a girl even more flat than me….”

So you did not recognize him!? Put your hands down! Think about how disrespectful you are if he was an actual girl!

After seeing tears at the corners of Shu Zhe’s eyes, Xiao Qin said in a comforting tone: “What happened? Were you bullied? Don’t worry, I’ll protect you! After all, you’re an uncommon natural resource!”

What do you mean by uncommon natural resource? Are you talking about flat chests!? A landing strip!? Just like when you get angry when you see Gong CaiCai’s large chest, do you have the need to protect a girl who has a chest flatter than you?

Also, can you take your hands off Shu Zhe’s chest! It seems like you like feeling it! You are probably thinking his chest is just as flat as yours!

Look at how much sexual confusion there is in this scene! The Little Tyrant, who once believed themselves to be a boy, is feeling a young girl’s non-existent breasts without the slightest scruple while chuckling… My brain is in a mess! In the eyes of outsiders, you might look like lesbians, but I always feel like you guys are homos!

Even when I walked near Xiao Qin, she did not discover the girl was Shu Zhe in disguise. She beckoned me over in excitement: “Come! Hurry! This girl’s breast is even smaller than mines! I’m finally no longer the girl with the smallest breasts in the world!”

After seeing my helpless expression, Xiao Qin thought that I did not believe her. She actually pushed Shu Zhe in front of me and said: “Give it a feel if you don’t believe me!”

Xiao Qin, you are going overboard! Would it be okay for your boyfriend to feel the breasts of a random girl to prove you do not have the smallest breasts? Do you think I am a trap lover like Fan Chuan?

Shu Zhe was exhausted from being played around with by Eunuch Cao, Fan Chuan, and now Xiao Qin. His body was displayed like it was ‘broken’. I thought it would startle the class leader if this went on, so I grabbed onto the wig and yanked it off along with Shu Zhe’s shrieks.

Once Shu Zhe finished screaming, Xiao Qin also screamed and jumped into my bosom after finding out it was a boy.

Shu Zhe regained his reasoning due to the pain and he speedily made his return to the movies. On his way, he met Eunuch Cao who was greeting him intimately, and cursed at him: “Pervert! I’m going to tell my sister!”

Eunuch Cao trembled when he heard Shu Zhe was going to report to his sister. The bag which held his camera almost slipped from his hands.

The shocked Xiao Qin was still trembling.

“Ye, Ye Lin classmate, I touched a male…. My hand…. My hand is going to rot!”

Although I clearly told her she can be my secret girlfriend, she never tried to keep it a secret in front of Eunuch Cao. Well, he was already calling Xiao Qin my wife anyway.

That’s why I did not push Xiao Qin away, instead, I patted her back and comforted her: “Don’t be scared, it won’t rot. Just pretend you were touching Chun Ge or Zeng Ge!”

“But… I originally thought I found a colleague, I never thought it was an imposter!”

Xiao Qin’s expression was like a parent who accidentally fed their child Sanlu.

A colleague? What colleague? Do you think you are a wandering flat-chested alien? On the contrary, is Gong CaiCai a big breasted alien who always bullies and suppresses you? Are you desperate in gathering subordinates because you are about to engage in a final battle with the big breasted aliens?

At this moment, Eunuch Cao walked over here shyly, and Xiao Qin dodged to one side.

No matter how dumb Xiao Qin was, she would not mistake Eunuch Cao for a girl. If Eunuch Cao ever cross-dresses in the future, everyone in our class would have to stab our own eyes.

“Master, your disciple… You disciple feels unwell. I cannot continue to accompany master to finish the movie, please excuse me!”

My ass! You are just afraid of Shu Zhe telling his sister! Now you want to run away with your tail between your legs?

Before escaping, Eunuch Cao inexplicably bought some popcorn from a stall and gave it to me as a parting gift.

“What are you giving me this for?” I asked baffled, “We still haven’t finished the other bucket!”

Eunuch Cao specifically requested the employee to package the popcorn with kraft paper, and I was not sure about his intentions.

After he heard my question, Eunuch Cao made a wretched laugh: “Jie Jie Jie Jie —— does someone as smart as you need my reminder? There will be an endless number of wonderful uses if you poke a hole on the bottom of the bag!”

Then, after he finished speaking, he fled while carrying the large bag. He looked back multiple times to check if the class leader was chasing him from behind.

I bewilderingly held the bag of popcorn and headed back to the seat.

Actually, Eunuch Cao might be overthinking. Shu Zhe did not tell on him to his sister, perhaps it was too embarrassing?

On the contrary to what I expected, the class leader asked why Eunuch Cao did not return. I casually said because he was too ugly, public security patrol took him away for disturbing public appearance.

To my surprise, the class leader did not question me further and accepted the cock-and-bull-story I concocted. If she was not still preoccupied with her brother’s rebellious phase, then that means she was also tormented by this shit film, and she would understand why someone would want to leave.

As for the piping hot bag of popcorn I brought back, Xiao Qin was happy because she was a glutton. But as for the class leader, she felt it was a waste buying a new bag before we even finished the old bag.

“Stop worrying about new or old!” I said, “If you guys don’t hurry up and eat, this hot bag would get cold too!”

Like before, I put the bag of popcorn on my lap. That way, Xiao Qin and the class leader can both reach it easily —— Shu Zhe does not like popcorn, based on what he said, popcorn is a rough food. He bought his own chocolates to melt in his mouth, and he had no intention of sharing.

The insulation ability of the paper bag was a bit weaker than the paper bucket. The nice and warm popcorn made my abdomen warm, and I suddenly remembered what Eunuch Cao said previously: There will be an endless number of wonderful uses if you poke a hole on the bottom of the bag.

Poke a hole? What would I do by poking a hole? Based on the position of the paper bag, if I poke a hole on the bottom, wouldn’t the popcorn fall on my pants? Unless I use something to block it up… Do I use my finger? How does that relate to wonderful uses?

Wait! Eunuch Cao’s words could only be understood if you think of the most vulgar possibilities! Don’t tell me he wants me to use something other than my finger… Does he want me to use my wiener!?

It is indeed perverted, but how would that benefit me? Only flashers do things like that. Wouldn’t fresh popcorn burn your wiener? It’s self-abuse!

At this point, the class leader took out a piece of popcorn and put it into her mouth. Xiao Qin was more gluttonous and took a big handful.

Although it was currently summer, I had cold sweat.

Eunuch Cao, you are way too perverted! Did you recommend me to poke a hole in the bag so the class leader and Xiao Qin might feel my thing when they reach for popcorn? Isn’t that basically a covert for helping me masturbate?

I suspect Eunuch Cao, and even Director Cao, have personally used this tactic before! Also, I have two girls next to me, not one. If I actually carried out that plan, their actions would provide me with twice the stimulation. How perverted am I! If I actually did it, I would definitely shoot out like a geyser towards the sky! In addition, can a girl even eat the popcorn with added substances?

When my imagination was running wild, the unaware Xiao Qin dug her hand deep into the bag of popcorn, “The ones at the bottom are hotter and sweeter!” She elatedly grabbed some popcorn and started to eat like a hamster.

It’s fine to eat popcorn, but don’t dig so deep and provoke a place that shouldn’t be provoked, okay?

Even though there was no hole at the bottom of the bag, the bag had changed shape! It became a karst landform, with a large pillar raising the sky, pushing the popcorn to two sides!

I no longer needed my hands to stabilize the bag of popcorn that was on my legs.

What pains me is that at this time a quite interesting fight scene was being shown. Although it was only a short five minutes, the few patient audience members were captivated. The frequency at which the class leader reached for popcorn increased.

Auntie Ren, do you hate me? Why did you add the scene you were responsible for right here! Do you not know I am trying to change the karst landform under the bag with all my efforts? Now, both Xiao Qin and the class leader were taking popcorn from the bag left and right. To me, it feels like excruciating torture!